TwoDoors

... okay never mind you can let go now.

It's time for a confession, if you can call it that:

October 11th is a big day for me, so if you want to say anything to me say it now. I highly doubt any of you have any choice words, but if you do, by October 11th I should be aware of them.

"But why," you ponder your teenage mind.

Ponder and question no more for here is the reason why: I'm committing suicide (it wasn't obvious to people so I went ahead and just said it). It's been planned since last year, and now it's come time! Hoorah! That was my 'confession'!

No worries, I have some letters and goodbyes for the few who I have kept in mind and to those who are mindful.

My profile will not be deleted the day of, because I do want my cousin to come in and give any last details any of you may be left askew. Possibly a month after that, or whenever she damn well pleases, all my public profiles will cease to exist. And so will I. Your memories of me will fade, possibly for the better, and I'll be chillin' out over here in the afterlife.

I had fun, really, getting to know you all and experiencing the life of the internet-kid. It's really opened my eyes to the kind of society we live in, the people we are, and most definitely who I am as a man. I've realized I love writing and behind heard, I love arguing for fun, I love bonding with new and different people... I love life just as much as I'll love the end of it. This is my conscious choice to run to the end of the cliff, and jump into the ocean.

Just know that the perception you have of life will always be changing, and the paradigm you follow will not always be right. There's a mystery in life, no doubt, and with that we can look it in the eyes or stare at it's hair as it passes by. Don't give up hope on shit you actually enjoy, and don't give up hope in yourself. You are your future, you are next generation, you will run this world to its toes or to its knees... Look, my point here is that there is not just a left or right, there is a left, right, up, down, 45 degree angle, sharp turn, quarter left, 3 o'clock, half back, upside down, right side up, reverse, shimmy, and you're never trapped, held down, you're never stupid or ugly, you're not useless or forgettable, you're not a waste of space because you're here you're alive so wake up and realize you're the potential we needed to keep moving forward. All we need is you, so don't fuck dare to think, even for a moment, that you're anything less than absolutely worth it. Just because I'm jumping into the water doesn't mean I won't wash up somewhere else.

I really suck at letters. I'm going to go now. Happy Halloween when it gets there, and I hope you have a good day. Even if I hate you.

Apple juice or orange juice?: I've never been a real fan of pulp in my drinks, so I'd have to say that I'd choose apple juice. But here's the thing - when I crave something to drink it's only ever milk or orange juice... but I don't like orange juice.

Are you a morning or night person?: I am a shadow dweller, so my main moment to roam is at night.

Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?: Salty. I mean, sweet is good, but then I need milk to balance it out.

Ninjas or pirates?: Pirates.

Ninjas vs pirates, discuss: So I see this whole debate a lot. Who would win in a battle, ninjas or pirates? Usually people side with the ninjas and consistently make 'did you see that?' jokes. I'm a realist, right? So here's my take on this 'battle' -- There is one ninja and one pirate on the edge of a town ready to fight. The ninja pulls out three throwing stars, two of which hit the pirate. Phased, but far from killed, the pirate pulls out his trusty sword to murder this fiend. Using stealthy skills that were developed from many years of training, the ninja easily deflects the damage and even kicks away the sword! So the pirate pulls out a gun and shoots him. The end.

Autobots or Decepticons?: Decepticons - I like their color better.

What was your favorite childhood television program?: Pokemon, no doubt. Misty was pretty hot.

Are you a collector of anything?: I have a problem with throwing papers away... so I guess I collect memories, since that what the papers symbolize for me.

If you could be any animal, what would you be?: A bird.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?: To fly...

What is usually your first thought when you wake up?: "God dammit, how many spiders did I fucking eat this time."

What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?: "Life would be easier if we all were hermaphrodites..."

What's your favorite color?: Bloo.

What's your favorite animal?: Oh my, a crow.

Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?: I think, in some way, we are the aliens in the void of a new universe.

Do you believe in ghosts?: Yeah.

Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?: Holy shit, GGG was a really big thing for me to get over. I got really compulsive with it, and it became a habit to check it every so often - but now I'm at this place...

You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?: Okay, I'd start paying for my parent's and grandparent's debt.

Have any bad habits?: I bite my nails, get too attached to papers, and eat a lot.

Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy?: When people make repetitive noises it's like HOLY FUCKING SHIT CAN YOU MAKE ANY OTHER GOD DAMN SOUND YOU SON OF A BITCH YOUR MOM WAS A MISTAKE YOU WERE MEANT TO BE A PUPPY NOT A HUMAN FUCK YOU GOD DAMN

List 3 of your best personality traits: Heh, um, I can rationalize any subject, talk people out of suicide, and give really honest opinions.

List 3 of your worst personality traits: I'm really needy, I will argue because I want to, and I get friend-jealous and boyfriend-jealous a lot.

Have any celebrity crushes?: Adam Sevani, I can rock your world.

List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself: I wish I could change the way I think sometimes. It gets me into a lot of trouble, and I think if I were to conform a bit then I could survive stress more.

Any tattoos or piercings?: Um, ugh, I had an eyebrow pierced but it freaked me out so I threw it away.

What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?: In all honesty? Hair. But once I get to know them, it's more of a 'what a beautiful personality' type of thing.

What personality traits do you look for in a partner?: Intelligent, likes to argue, and puts up with all my crap.

What personality traits do you dislike in other people?: Scene girls/guys, really loud laughs, obnoxious idiots.

Are you mostly a clean or messy person?: Very clean.

Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years?: AHAHAHAHA

Are you mostly a clean or messy person?: Very messy.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?: Canada! Fun fact, when I was younger, my mom thought it would be funny to tell me nothing was in Canada... a couple months ago I found out Canada had people living in it. I was blown away.

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?: I'd go to Canada again for a good measure.

List 5 goals on your life's to-do list: (1) Have sex (2) Talk someone out of suicide (3) Have something published (4) Own a snake (5) Face my fear of the ocean

Name 1 regret you have: Facing my fear of the God damn ocean.

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid: I could be naive and no one would care.

Name 1 thing you love about being an adult: People think I'm smarter because I'm older.

What's your favorite song of the moment?: Austin, Atlantic in Homestuck Vol.  9

What's your favorite song of all time?: Lover Dearest by Marianas Trench

What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?: Shower... naked.

What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?: Sleep in.

Have any hidden talents?: I can be a nice guy AND a douche at the SAME TIME.

You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal?: Heh, sushi.

What would be your dream job?: A profession and well-known author of young adult books.

Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?: Holy shit, with 100 million dollars, everyone would truly love me anyway.

If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?: (1) Let me be a ghost (2) Don't let idiots have children (3) Three more wishes

Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?: Yeah, because I want to experience what it feels like to be in the kitchen.

Name 1 thing not many people know about you: I think of really weird stuff sometimes... Like if a guy had a period, were would it go?

Ever fallen for your best friend?: Yus.

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?: Sir Villain de Majesto Frankenstein.

Do you believe in the afterlife?: I feel like I have to.

I have a theory that if anyone cares to know - they'd ask.
So shut up.

1. Height: 5'10"
2. Virgin? Nope!
3. Shoe Size: Enough to kick ass.
4. Sexual Orientation: Pansexual! Fuck yeah!
5. Do you Smoke? Naw.
6. Do you Drink? Meh.
7. Do you take drugs? What's the point?
8. Age you get mistaken for: 18 - 20 years-old.
9. Have Tattoos? *cough*
10. Want any tattoos? *cooooooough*
11. Got any Piercings? Ew, no!
12. Want any Piercings? Bluh!
13. Best friend? IRL: Renee.    Online: Avery? I think?
14. Relationship status: Single, thank goodness.
15. Biggest turn ons: When they can argue correctly!
16. Biggest turn offs:  Sexist liars who take advantage of education; people who don't read...
17. Favorite Movie: Sweeney Fucking Todd.
18. I'll love you if: You Davekat ... And Homestuck.
19. Someone you miss: Avery...
20. Most traumatic experience: Almost drowned in the damn ocean.
21. A fact about your personality: I consider myself very intellectual and argumentative.
22. What I hate most about myself: My manbrows.
23. What I love most about myself: Woohoo, my brain!
24. What I want to be when I get older: ... Dead.
25. My relationship with my sibling(s): They should be sacrificed.
26. My relationship with my parent(s): They should be set free in the wild.
28. My biggest pet peeves: It pisses me off when people are idiots :/
29. A description of the girl/boy I like: *Really* funny!
30. A description of the person I dislike the most: Sexist, attention grabbing, annoying, and really stupid.
31. A reason I've lied to a friend: Because I swear I didn't mean it!
32. What I hate the most about work/school: I fucking love school. College! Woot!
33. What my last text message says: "Well... That explains it."
34. What words upset me the most: "She's not coming back, Victor."
35. What words make me feel the best about myself:  "I LOVE DAVEKAT, TOO, VICTOR."
36. What I find attractive in women: I really like it when girls have pretty hair... Is that lame?
37. What I find attractive in men: I know this is bad, but thin dudes are cute dudes.
38. Where I would like to live: 6 feet under.
39. One of my insecurities: Don't insult my intelligence!
40. My childhood career choice: ... A horse.
41. My favorite ice cream flavor: Minty fresh.
42. Who I wish I could be: Andrew Hussie. That man is brilliance in a body.
43. Where I want to be right now: Submerged in snakes.
44. The last thing I ate: Corn in a cup - it wasn't that good.
45. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: Dave and Karkat... Do they count?
46. A random fact about anything: A Hognose Snake will rarely bite a human, however, it will hiss and jab in an attempt to scare you. Don't be frightened! If you mess with it long enough, it will play dead.